Let's face it. Hollywood romances always make us think that when two people are right for each other, you will "just know," i.e., the chemistry is either there or it isn't, right? Maybe. But then why is it that some of the men you had strong chemistry with, ended up being a complete disaster of a relationship or had a short run cycle?
I can't tell you how many men that I "had chemistry" with that turned out to be so wrong for me. In fact, If you were to put some of my boyfriend's in a lineup, physically you might not see that much in common.
So why did I have "chemistry" with many of them and not others.
Chemistry and attraction is not logical...it's emotional. In fact, often it's more about your personal values than some magical 1st time connection.
Attraction is based on your personal values and I valued the wrong things.
I was afraid of commitment, got bored easily, and tended to date the wrong types of men.
Think about it. Who you are attracted to or who you attract into your life(or who you don’t attract) , and who you keep (or who you don’t keep) in your life, essentially boils down to this: what you value.
-Women who treat themselves with no respect attract men who treat them with no respect.
-A person who hides their intentions and plays games will ultimately attract other people who hide their intentions and play games.
What you value determines what you find attractive. If you value physical appearance above all else, then you will be willing to sacrifice all other traits for physical appearance in a partner. If you value intelligence above all else, then you will be willing to overlook other traits in favor of intelligence.
If we want to change the type of you are attracted to and "have chemistry" with, we must get honest with what we value and make a decision redefine our values to attract and be attracted to a different type person.